The Great Poems of Plumbing

05/02/13 8:22 AM

So… what does Valentine’s Day mean to a plumber?

Well, lest you think us unromantic clods, let me share with you some of The Great Poems of Plumbing.


How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My wrench can turn, when working out of sight
B’neath the sink and back of toilet
I love thee to the level of water
Most high when flowing untapped.
I love thee freely, as the drain should flow.
I love thee purely, as the filter doth sieve.
I love the with the passion put to use
Of my favorite propane torch
The solder drawn into the joint
You, my customer draw me near
To perform the work I love, and if you choose,
I shall but love thee better after you pay my bill.


Roses are red.

Violets are blue.

You will need a plunger

To unclog your loo.


Oh, Vanity.
You mock my friend.
Calling to him, as you wait to take your place in his home.
If only he will change life as he knows it, casting aside family and friends for hours, days…
Who can say how long you will keep him to yourself, Vanity!
But, to lose time, of which life is so short,
To suffer the loss of pride that surely must follow,
To even bleed for you… oh, Vanity!
Better, he call Classic Plumbing by Reno to install you in the downstairs bath.
Then we shall all be happier.

Happy Valentine’s Day!  Give me a ring if yours goes down the drain.

P.S.  Apologies to Ms. Browning.

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